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What You Shouldn’t Say To Friends Who Don’t Have Children

When a couple has children it is usually an extremely significant event in their lives.  The raising of children changes many aspects of the couples life.  One of the aspects that can be negatively impacted on is the friendships with couples that do not have children.  There are important things you should never say to a couple that doesn’t have children.

I Guess You Have A Pet

Pets can be a large part of a couples life.  However they are never a substitute for having a child.  You should never talk to a childless couple in a manner that sounds like it is a consolation prize for not having children.

When Do You Intend On Having Children?

Couples that have the blessing of children often want their friends to share in their wonderful experiences.  However, asking other couples about when they plan on having children in public situations is definitely a no-no.  There are a variety of reasons why couples don’t have children.  Sometimes they decide having children isn’t right for them. There could be medical problems such as infertility that the couple is facing.  If you want to discuss issues concerning why a couple isn’t having children you should very carefully and very discreetly bring it up only in private conversations.

I Guess You Get A Lot More Sleep Than I Do?

Couples with children are very often up during the night dealing with their children’s issues.  But the opposite is also untrue.  Couples generally do not decide to not have children because they want to sleep more at night.  Comments can sound like the couple is acting in a shallow or selfish manner.

We Always Wanted To Have A Family

This expression can be misinterpreted.  Childless couples, when they hear this expression, may believe you’re saying a couple who don’t have children are not a family.  There are many types of families.  Significant others, parents, brothers and sisters, cousins, all constitute family members.

New York Divorce Lawyers

If you are married and things don’t work out, you may need to get divorced.  In those situations the New York divorce lawyers at the Law Offices of Schlissel DeCorpo can help you out.  The divorce lawyers at the Law Offices of Schlissel DeCorpo have more than 100 years of combined legal experience in dealing with matrimonial and family law cases.  Among the various of matters handled by the Law Offices of Schlissel DeCorpo are divorce grounds, family lawchild custodychanging visitationchild abuse and child neglectdrafting separation agreementsprenuptial and post nuptial agreements.  We also have litigated cases involving mothers’ rights and fathers’ rightsThe firm has extensive experience in dealing with high net worth divorce issues. Call for a free consultation.

Order of Protection Fails, Woman Shot

restrainingorder-150x150Carmen Valdez obtained an order of protection from her boyfriend, Felix Perez. She was assured by police officers that Felix would be arrested if he threatened her in violation of the order of protection, issued by the Bronx Criminal Court. Thereafter, Mr. Perez shot Carmen Valdez. Bullets pierced her face and her arm. Felix Perez killed himself with the same gun. Carmen Valdez sued the City of New York for failure to arrest Felix Perez and protect her pursuant the order of protection.

City of New York Not Liable to Carmen Valdez

The New York State Court of Appeals (New York’s highest court) in a 5-2 decision in the matter of Valez v. The City of New York, found that New York City would not be liable for damages to Carmen Valdez for her gunshot wounds. Even though she was assured by a police officer that her ex-boyfriend would be arrested when he threatened her, the City of New York still could not be held liable. The Court found that Ms. Valdez did not establish or create a “special relationship” between her and New York City based on the promise of a police officer to arrest her boyfriend when he threatened her on the phone. The court stated in its decision Carmen did not have “a justifiable reliance” on the City’s affirmative undertaking of the promise of the police officer to keep her safe. Even though Ms. Valdez, in compliance with her order of protection, reported to a police officer that her boyfriend threatened to kill her “the officer’s statement did not create a special relationship that would create liability upon the City of New York.” So much for the protection offered by an order of protection issued by a Criminal Court!

New York Divorce and Family Court Attorneys

The Law Offices of Schlissel DeCorpo have been protecting women involved in domestic violence situation, by obtaining orders of protection for them in both the Criminal Courts and Family Courts for more than 30 years. We also represent men and women in issues concerning child abuse, child neglect, divorce related issues, child custody issues, mother’s rights and father’s rights issues as well as drafting pre nuptial and post nuptial agreements. Feel free to call for a free consultation.

Paternity by Estoppel: Can This Really Happen?

support-150x150Paternity by Estoppel is a legal doctrine that is now accepted by the New York State Court of Appeals.  This doctrine holds that a man can be required to pay child support for a child if it is proven beyond any doubt that he is NOT the biological father of this child.

In the matter of Shondel v. Mark D., the New York State Court of Appeals held as follows:

“In this child support proceeding, we hold that a man who has mistakenly represented himself as a child’s father may be estopped from denying paternity, and made to pay child support, when the child justifiably relied on the man’s representation of paternity, to the child’s detriment.  We reached this conclusion based on the best interest of the child as set forth by the legislature.”

In the aforementioned case, the father of the child had seen the child approximately four times during the child’s life.  However, he had held himself out to be the child’s father.  He had provided the child with financial support.  He had also signed an affidavit authorizing the child to use his name.

The New York State of Appeals rendered a decision that this man’s actions caused the child to justifiably rely on these representations that he was the child’s father.  The court further reasoned that it was now in the child’s best interest to prevent the father from denying the paternity, even though the DNA proved beyond question that this man was not the child’s father. Therefore, this man was forced to continue to pay child support for a child that was not his.

Paternity by Estoppel

This case and subsequent cases should be a warning to all men.  If you are not absolutely certain you are the father of a child, you should demand a DNA paternity test.  You should not sign an acknowledgment of paternity unless you are absolutely sure you are the father of the child.

If you undertake to provide support for a child, visit with a child or hold yourself out as being the father of a child, should you later find that you are not the biological father of the child, you will be estopped (prevented) from making this argument in court.

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Mens’ Rights/Fathers’ Rights Attorneys

Men need advocates in court.  Both fathers and men who find themselves in the Family Court and/or the Supreme Court sometimes run into a hornets’ nest.  The system, in many situations, favors mothers and women.

The Fathers’ Rights defense lawyers at the Law Offices of Schlissel DeCorpo litigate issues involving paternity, child support, spousal maintenance (alimony), visitation rights, relocation issues, as well as Orders of Protection and child abuse and child neglect allegations.   We handle all aspects of representing fathers concerning their rights and responsibilities in divorces, equitable distribution of their assets and issues involving parental alienation.  We negotiate separation agreements and we try to amicably resolve our cases whenever it is possible.  Feel free to call us at 1-800-344-6431; 516-561-6645 or 718-350-2802.

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