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Mediating Your Divorce

mediation-150x150If you seek a non-confrontational approach to ending your marital relationship, mediation may be the route for you to take. Mediation is a type of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR), which can be a very cost-effective and efficient manner of amicably working out divorce related issues.

Mediation, Not Litigation

Mediated divorces are not litigated and there are no court appearances. A trained and neutral third party, usually an attorney familiar with matrimonal and family law, meets with the parties and reviews all issues with them in a non-confrontational manner. If the parties are mature, reasonable, and patient, mediation may be the best route to take with regard to handling a divorce case.

Divorces Where Mediation Won’t Work

Mediation, however, is not for everyone. Situations where the parties are not talking to each other or are not amicable do not present a good prospect for mediation. Cases involving very volatile relationships are also inappropriate cases for mediation. Further, domestic violence matters should not be mediated.

Mediation Requires Good Faith

For mediation to be successful both parties must be honest with each other. If either party hides assests or seeks to intimidate the other party, mediation is not going to work.

Divorce Can Be Difficult

Divorcing your partner can be a difficult process. Long term decisions need to be made on issues such as child custody, visitation (parenting time), spousal maintenance (alimony), equitable distribution of assets, dealing with business assets, valuing professional degrees, as well as the grounds for divorce. If you decide to use mediation, you should choose your mediator carefully. The Matrimonial and Family law attorneys at the Law Offices of Schlissel DeCorpo have more than 100 years combined experience dealing with all types of Matrimonial and Family Law issues. We are available to discuss mediation and other divorce related topics. Contact us for a free consultation.

Order of Protection Fails, Woman Shot

restrainingorder-150x150Carmen Valdez obtained an order of protection from her boyfriend, Felix Perez. She was assured by police officers that Felix would be arrested if he threatened her in violation of the order of protection, issued by the Bronx Criminal Court. Thereafter, Mr. Perez shot Carmen Valdez. Bullets pierced her face and her arm. Felix Perez killed himself with the same gun. Carmen Valdez sued the City of New York for failure to arrest Felix Perez and protect her pursuant the order of protection.

City of New York Not Liable to Carmen Valdez

The New York State Court of Appeals (New York’s highest court) in a 5-2 decision in the matter of Valez v. The City of New York, found that New York City would not be liable for damages to Carmen Valdez for her gunshot wounds. Even though she was assured by a police officer that her ex-boyfriend would be arrested when he threatened her, the City of New York still could not be held liable. The Court found that Ms. Valdez did not establish or create a “special relationship” between her and New York City based on the promise of a police officer to arrest her boyfriend when he threatened her on the phone. The court stated in its decision Carmen did not have “a justifiable reliance” on the City’s affirmative undertaking of the promise of the police officer to keep her safe. Even though Ms. Valdez, in compliance with her order of protection, reported to a police officer that her boyfriend threatened to kill her “the officer’s statement did not create a special relationship that would create liability upon the City of New York.” So much for the protection offered by an order of protection issued by a Criminal Court!

New York Divorce and Family Court Attorneys

The Law Offices of Schlissel DeCorpo have been protecting women involved in domestic violence situation, by obtaining orders of protection for them in both the Criminal Courts and Family Courts for more than 30 years. We also represent men and women in issues concerning child abuse, child neglect, divorce related issues, child custody issues, mother’s rights and father’s rights issues as well as drafting pre nuptial and post nuptial agreements. Feel free to call for a free consultation.

Saving Marriages After Adultery

adultery-150x150Adulterous relationships occur in approximately 50% of all marriages. The discovery of the adultery by the spouse can bring profound changes to the marital relationship. The betrayal causes pain and instability within the marriage. It is estimated that in less than a third of the situations involving adultery, the relationship between the couple ultimately returns to normal.

Handling Affairs

Dr. Tammy Nelson has recently written a book deals with how to successfully save relationships after the discovery of adultery. In her book, Dr. Nelson states “often affairs are like viruses, in that they’re opportunistic and they feed on a part of one’s self that is kept under ground, unknown even to one’s self.” Dr. Nelson discusses in her book reconnecting to the basic relationship between the parties.

She suggests the parties shouldn’t go into details about the facts of the affair. Instead, the couples should concentrate on re-connecting with each other. They should open up and deal with the insecurities and other problems in their relationship.

The Book: “Getting the Sex You Want”

Dr. Nelson, in her book, talks about the shame, anger and guilt experienced by couples when illicit affairs are discovered. She discusses the fact that an affair is usually an expression of sexual energy. She suggests the couple reinvent their relationship and deal with each others’ erotic needs. Forgiveness is not the answer to an affair. Re-establishing the relationship and dealing with sexual needs is more important.

This article discusses how to save a marital relationship. However, there are cases where the relationship can not be saved. In those situations, it is important to educate yourself with regard to the various issues involved in a divorce. The Law Offices of Schlissel DeCorpo

can assist you in these matters. We have developed an expertise involving issues related to family law, child custody, separation agreements, annulments, division of property, amicable divorce, fathers’ rights, mothers’ rights and the mediation of divorces.Call us for a free consultation at 1-800-344-6431, 516-561-6645 or 718-350-2802.

Alzheimer’s Disease and Divorce

alz-150x150Pat Robinson has suggested that a man whose wife has Alzheimer’s disease should obtain a divorce. He takes the position that divorcing a wife with Alzheimer’s is a better solution than committing adultery with a new companion. Pat made these comments in response to a question submitted to him on his television program, “The 700 Club.” He had taken a call from a man who asked a question regarding a friend of his. The friend’s wife had a serious case of dementia and no longer knew who he was. Pat stated, “I hate Alzheimer’s. It is one of the most awful things, because here’s the loved one – this is the woman or man that you have loved for 20, 30, 40 years and suddenly that person is gone.”

Pat suggested he should divorce his wife and start all over again. He also suggested that even after divorcing his wife, he should make sure she has the appropriate medical support necessary to deal with her condition.

Criticism of Pat Robinson’s Position

Pat Robinson has received a lot of criticism for his position on this issue. There are those who believe life long traditional marriage is what keeps our society together, and it is each spouse’s obligation to stay true to his or her marriage and help their spouse in times of illness.

Beth Kallmyer, a senior director of the Constituent Services at the Alzheimer’s Association, stated, referring the Alzheimer’s Disease and Dementia, that “this is a challenging, devastating and eventually fatal illness and it affects everybody differently.” The most important thing is for families to get help. She further stated that it was rare for couples to get divorced because one of them has come down with a severe case of Alzheimer’s disease. She did point out that Alzheimer’s disease can go on for many years or even decades. This can put enormous stress on family life.

New York Divorce Lawyers

For more than thirty three years, the Law Offices of Schlissel DeCorpo has litigated all aspects of divorce, including child custody, visitation, child support, spousal maintenance (alimony)and equitable distribution of property. We also represent fathers with regard to proceedings in family court. We litigate issues involving paternity, downward modifications of child support, relocation problems, parental alienation cases and issues involving parental alienation syndrome. We also negotiate separation agreements for our clients. Feel free to call us for a free consultation.

Hiring the Right Divorce Lawyer

divorce-150x1501

Divorces are very personal legal proceedings. You need a divorce lawyer who you have faith in, who is reliable and who you can trust. How do you decide that you have the right lawyer to represent you? Here are some suggestions:

1) Is your attorney familiar with the local court practices and procedures? Things are handled differently in different jurisdictions. The courts in New York City and Long Island differ on how they handle some aspects of matrimonial and family law issues. Is your attorney aware of these practices?

2) How do you feel about your lawyer? You should trust your instincts when you hire a lawyer. Are you comfortable with him or her? Is he or she dealing with your issues in a manner that makes you feel secure?

3) Does your attorney return your calls. Litigating divorce and family court issues can be aggravating and nerve racking. When you call your attorney, does he or she return your calls within 24 hours? Are your lawyers paying attention to your case?

Is Your Attorney Compassionate?

The law and the courts are cold. You may not always obtain the result you desire. Your lawyer should have compassion for your personal circumstances. You should be treated as a person with personal problems, not as a case file!

Professionalism and Interaction with Courts and other Attorneys

Your attorney should act in a professional, competent manner. He or she should do his or her best to deal with judges and opposing counsel. Sometimes antagonistic and difficult situations arise and your attorney must be very aggressive. Aggressive litigating may be necessary to get your point across. There are other times your attorney should be taking a negotiating posture to try and obtain the best possible result for you.

New York and Long Island Fathers’ Rights Lawyers

We represent fathers! We have been doing this for more than thirty years. We litigate all aspects of divorce, including child custody, visitation, child support, spousal maintenance (alimony)and equitable distribution of property. We also represent fathers with regard to proceedings in family court. We litigate issues involving paternity, downward modifications of child support, relocation problems, parental alienation cases and issues involving parental alienation syndrome. We also negotiate separation agreements for our clients. Feel free to call us for a free consultation.

Jobs, Money and Marriage

layoff-150x150As the economy falls back into recession, monetary issues will become more significant to American families. Men and women will argue even more about financial issues.

Losing Your Job

When the primary bread winner loses his or her job, it creates an enormous amount of stress. The job market impacts on all aspects of family life. It becomes an issue for couples who are married or who are thinking of getting married. Can you imagine the impact the word “unemployed” has on your Facebook site! Putting this on a dating profile basically eliminates all your opportunities for social interaction. Dating and marriage relate to economic unions. No job, no deal!

Washed Up

Men in their forties and fifties who lose their jobs and are divorced will find it very difficult to get remarried. While unemployed, these men must live off their savings, if they have any. A recent Newsday article stated that men in their forties and fifties who lose their jobs have the same odds of returning to their peak earning potential as they do of their hair growing back!

Financial Distress

Recent surveys indicate that women are three times more likely to feel financial stress during periods of unemployment. Surveys women have greater guilt and concern about being unable to support their children than men.

The Economics of Divorce

The economics of marriage are difficult. The economics of divorce are even more complicated. When a marriage breaks up and both parties have to maintain their own household, both the man and the woman end up poorer. Some studies have indicated that it can take a divorced woman who has custody of her children up to five years to regain her pre-divorce standard of living.

Protecting Fathers’ Rights

The fathers’ rights lawyers at the Law Offices of Schlissel DeCorpo have been representing fathers in matrimonial and family law proceedings for more than 33 years. Our law office aggressively represents fathers!  We litigate all aspects of divorce, including child custodyvisitationchild support, spousal maintenance (alimony)and equitable distribution of property. We also represent fathers with regard to proceedings in family court. We litigate issues involving paternity, downward modifications of child supportrelocation problems,parental alienation cases and issues involving parental alienation syndrome. We also negotiate separation agreements for our clients. Feel free to call us for a free consultation.

Husband Jailed for Failure to Comply With Settlement Agreement

Supreme Court Justice Bruno, sitting in Nassau County, recently put a man in jail because he did not comply with the terms of the Stipulation of Settlement. The settlement agreement required that the father maintain a $2,000,000 life insurance policy. The wife and the other children were to be the irrevocable beneficiaries. The wife waived various other financial interests to obtain this life insurance policy.

Policy No Longer Affordable

The husband claimed in his arguments to the court that he couldn’t afford this life insurance policy. It was shown at the time of the trial that the husband had purchased a $750,000 home. He had put this home in trust for another woman. The husband also stated that he was denied life insurance due to his drug use. The drug use resulted in the policy costing $100,000 in premium. The court did not believe the husband’s testimony. He was found in contempt. The judge sentenced him to six months in jail for his “willful deliberate failure to comply with the stipulation that prejudiced the wife’s rights.” The husband was given the option of purging his contempt by obtaining a two million dollar life insurance policy.

Mens’ Rights and Fathers’ Rights

The Law Offices of Schlissel DeCorpo has been handled father’s rights matters for more than three decades. We have an expertise in dealing with divorce issues, orders of protection, child custody and child visitation issues. We help fathers obtain changes in custody when mothers engage in parental alienation of the children.

We also represent fathers regarding issues involving child abuse defense, paternity, no fault divorce and annulments. Call for a free consultation.

Girl Unable to get Order of Protection Against Boyfriend’s Wife!

This is a case involving two women who have children from the same man. The Queens Family Court has held that this does not place them in an “intimate relationship”; therefore, they have not met the standard for an order of protection regarding non-family members under the jurisdiction of the Family Court in the State of New York.

In 2008, the Family Court Act in New York expanded the jurisdiction of the Family Court, allowing the court to issue orders of protection to extended family members outside the immediate family.

In a case before Judge DePhillips, a father had three children. One by his wife, Mary R., and two by his girlfriend, Jane P. The father, at the present time, lives with his girlfriend and their two children. His wife lives at a separate location with his other child.

The father and wife are not divorced. The father has never divorced his wife, they just live separately. They’ve also been litigating issues involving custody of their five year old for a considerable period of time. In August of 2010, the wife obtained an order of protection from the Family Court against her husband. On the very same day that the wife received an order of protection against her husband, the girlfriend received an order or protection against the wife. This was based on the girlfriend’s allegation that the wife had pushed one of her children and threatened to kill her if she didn’t leave her husband alone.

Judge DePhillips was faced with the issue as to whether the Family Court had jurisdiction to render an order of protection between the girlfriend and wife. Judge DePhillips dismissed the girlfriend’s request for an order of protection. She found that the two mothers relationship was only incidental to the ongoing litigation between the father and the mother for custody of their five year daughter and, therefore, the Family Court did not have jurisdiction to grant this order of protection. Judge DePhillips stated that, since there was not a stepmother relationship between the girlfriend and the mother, there wasn’t a sufficient connection between them to create an extended family to bring the application for the order of protection within the confines of the Family Court Act. The order of protection application by the girlfriend was therefore dismissed.

Long Island Divorce Lawyer

The Law Offices of Schlissel DeCorpo has been representing both men and women in divorce proceedings for more than thirty three years. We litigate all types of matrimonial and family court related proceedings including, but not limited to, orders of protection; child custody; child abuse; child neglect; divorce; divorce grounds; annulment; division of property; fathers’ rights; mothers’ rights; and high net worth divorces. In amicable situations, we participate in mediation, drafting pre-nuptial and post-nuptial agreements and separation agreements. We also represent individuals in same sex relationships. Feel free to call us for a free consultation.

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