Adulterous relationships occur in approximately 50% of all marriages. The discovery of the adultery by the spouse can bring profound changes to the marital relationship. The betrayal causes pain and instability within the marriage. It is estimated that in less than a third of the situations involving adultery, the relationship between the couple ultimately returns to normal.
Dr. Tammy Nelson has recently written a book deals with how to successfully save relationships after the discovery of adultery. In her book, Dr. Nelson states “often affairs are like viruses, in that they’re opportunistic and they feed on a part of one’s self that is kept under ground, unknown even to one’s self.” Dr. Nelson discusses in her book reconnecting to the basic relationship between the parties.
She suggests the parties shouldn’t go into details about the facts of the affair. Instead, the couples should concentrate on re-connecting with each other. They should open up and deal with the insecurities and other problems in their relationship.
The Book: “Getting the Sex You Want”
Dr. Nelson, in her book, talks about the shame, anger and guilt experienced by couples when illicit affairs are discovered. She discusses the fact that an affair is usually an expression of sexual energy. She suggests the couple reinvent their relationship and deal with each others’ erotic needs. Forgiveness is not the answer to an affair. Re-establishing the relationship and dealing with sexual needs is more important.
This article discusses how to save a marital relationship. However, there are cases where the relationship can not be saved. In those situations, it is important to educate yourself with regard to the various issues involved in a divorce. The Law Offices of Schlissel DeCorpo
can assist you in these matters. We have developed an expertise involving issues related to family law, child custody, separation agreements, annulments, division of property, amicable divorce, fathers’ rights, mothers’ rights and the mediation of divorces.Call us for a free consultation at 1-800-344-6431, 516-561-6645 or 718-350-2802.